The Forbidden Kingdom

Well, we actually did go see Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and I have a first draft of that review, but I also went to see The Forbidden Kingdom with Jackie Chan and Jet Li (and Shia LeBoeuf). A kid from the city is transported to ancient China, on a quest to return a Magical Staff (which isn’t that magical in his hands, but he didn't really try to do anything spiffy with it) to its rightful owner. I really enjoyed this. Entertainment Weekly gave it a D, but they don’t like Captain Jack Sparrow and they did like Superbad (note the name, and the Truthful Advertising therein). What do they know? I mean, they even said Delta Farce sucked!

Ahem. Anyway, they’re idiots. This movie is beautifully done. Jackie Chan is absolutely marvelous as the Standard Drunken Taoist Immortal. If someone ever does Bridge of Birds (oh Ang Lee, where are you?) properly, Chan would make a glorious Master ‘a slight flaw in my character’ Li. But he’s not alone. Jet Li doubles as the Silent Monk and the Monkey King, and is brilliant at both. The chopsockey is very well choreographed, there are two wonderful women doing serious martial arts and not what Joe Bob Briggs characterizes as “Bimbo Fu”, and I would kill for some of those costumes. The script (yes! There is one!) explains things, keeps the plot moving, and doesn’t totally suck. Best line: “My turn!” from the Monkey King. Anyway, I really enjoyed this movie. While stocking up at the refreshment stand, be aware that there are no slow spots suitable for dashing to the restroom. This movie was more Westernized in plot structure and understandable than Kung Fu Hustle, but just as fast moving. I strongly recommend at half price/matinee, and you won’t feel ripped off if you happen to end up paying full.

Go see this on the big screen, unless you have a truly awesome rig at home.

Going to the movies today

Well, my husband and I are going to go see Forgetting Sarah Marshall--I'll let you know what I think about it when we get back. But for right now, I have to tell you a little bit about Sweeney Todd. First of all, I have to admit that I would watch Johnny Depp in a Taco Bell commercial. Second, I think after watching Ed Wood that he should be the new Gomez Addams in any new Addams Family type of movie (Paul Rudnick, you listening?)--after all, Christina Ricci is old enough to wear her mother's gown by now. And I would pay prize fight pay per view prices to watch them together doing "The Masochism Tango" RIGHT.



Ahem. Sweeney Todd. I have to admit, that during "The Worse Pies in London" I expected that Hell's Kitchen guy to stomp in, raze the place, and spray the remains with live steam. Secondly, I could not help but see the Muppet version in my head with Miss Piggy and the cockroaches as her backup singers and dancers. However, the movie as a whole was an experience that should not be missed. Borat (ok, Sasha Baron Cohen) was marvelous as Pirelli, Helen Bonham Carter was delightfully mad as ever, and that Johnny Depp was gloriously obsessed as the Vengeful Barber (and it was wrong, wrong of me to hear and see bits of "The Rabbit of Seville" in some of the scenes). However, to me at least, Alan Rickman and his minion Peter Spall (who was also very good as a Minion in Enchanted--some people are just natural Wormtails, y'know?) stole the show. Especially Mr. Rickman. They practically showed him kicking puppies and ripping pages out of Bibles to show how Evil he was, but if I'd been around at that place and time, he wouldn't have been worried about some little chickie-boom who was clearly in love with someone else. (fans self vigorously) Bad of me, I know...



There are some scenes that I really, really liked--the bit in the insane asylum that demonstrated When Blondes Attack, for one. The little boy who was nursed on Mother's Ruin, and how very much he loved Mrs. Lovett. The Don Juan routine--"At last I am whole again!" (although I still get flashes of Squiggy dressed as Don Giovanni in that one episode of Laverne & Shirley). Goes off humming "Hamlet, Hamlet, be-e a lamblet"...



It was a good movie and I'm going to buy it on DVD, and put it right next to my copy of Phantom of the Opera. You should, too.

Molly Likes Movies

Molly Likes Movies!

The Golden Compass--I read the book eons ago and liked it a lot—it was supposedly a children’s fantasy, but aimed for an older audience than the Potter books, and featuring a girl as the heroine (nice change, that). The movie is amazingly gorgeous, and things look in it the way they looked in my head when I was reading it. Nicole Kidman as Mrs. Coulter, especially, nuked her role, while Daniel Craig was surprisingly good as Lord Asriel. Sam Elliot was brilliant as Mr. Scoresby, the American aeronaut, while Ian McKellan was truly the voice of Iorek Bynarson, the armored bear.

The special effects for the daimons (the little animals that represent a person’s soul) were extremely well handled. Daimons change their shape till someone is through puberty, and then settle down into a single shape, and they were handled seamlessly and well in this movie. I’m glad CGI has progressed this far. In fact, the only change I would have made would be to give Hester, Mr. Scoresby’s daimon, a tiny set of horns—she was a large rabbit, but would have made an even bigger impression as a common jackalope.

Lyra was a delight; ‘cheerful limb of Satan’, ‘a smarter, cuter Bart Simpson’, ‘destined to become a Weasley twin in another life’ are just a few phrases I would choose to describe her. She is not the sort to be cowed by nearly anything; and her actual relationship to Mrs. Coulter, who has clearly learned how to become Madam Satan in evening dress later in life should not surprise anyone. Lyra, luckily for the rest of the world, has decided to use her powers for good instead of power for herself. I laughed out loud when she fooled the Evil Bear King for the sake of a better one.

The movie moved a little slowly at times, but never wastefully. Any information carelessly dropped ended up being useful later, so pay attention to what people are saying when you go see it, all right? Everything in the script hangs together pretty well, and there aren’t too many places where it’d be safe to sneak out to the can (so you might want to get the 20 ounce instead of the 32 ounce on your pop).

Naturally a bunch of the book had to be left out, because this was only a two hour and some movie, not the six hour miniseries that it would actually take to explain everything. Go ahead and read the book, too, it has a lot of good stuff. And as a Baptist, I should take exception to the whole anti-church aspect of the book, except that we’ve all known preachers with a bad case of big head that we rather weren’t in actual power. There was at least one serious weasel boy desperately trying to stab Mrs. Coulter in the back (hey fella, combovers do NOT help) that made me sympathize with the woman, however rotten she is in person.

Anyway, if you haven’t seen it yet, give it a shot. It’s a really gorgeous movie, and unless you really do have Frank’s 2,000 inch TV, it will look a lot better in the theater than on DVD.